Have you ever wondered what really happened behind the door marked with a red “temporarily out of order” sign? It’s a major inconvenience, especially for someone like me who waits until her internal dam can no longer bare the pressure of all the ice coffee drinks, two bottles of water and ice cold colas from the cafeteria; all before the strike of noon. I was in the midst of composing a very compelling email about scheduling a meeting to meet about possibly meeting, and suddenly I felt a crack cut into the side of my bladder. I rushed off to the restroom that is exactly 50 footsteps towards the left and down the hall from my office. I thrust myself towards the door, only to be stopped by a big bold red sign with white lettering: TEMPORARILY OUT OF ORDER.
Really — temporarily? I inhaled strongly to consume bladder controlled thoughts as I mouthed to myself, “and what is the estimated time frame of temporarily? Should I circle the hall and come back in exactly 150 footsteps?” Since no one was around to answer my plea for pee relief, I darted through the stairwell doors faced with another dilemma. I wasn’t sure how much muscle control I had to race down or up the stairwell to the next available restroom. 30 seconds later, I am one floor above my office singing tunes of relief as I empty my bladder.
On my relaxed walk down the stairs, to the right and 50 footsteps pass the broken restroom, down the hall to my office, I wondered what type of plumbing emergency took place to completely shut down the only women’s bathroom on the floor. Did someone fall inside the toilet with only dangling feet visible to be discovered? Did a pregnant woman have a morning sickness explosion? Perhaps it wasn’t a plumbing issue, but a flood of unexpected high tides, slimy rocks and liquefied minerals that broke someone’s pressured dam. If someone was the cause of the bathroom shut down, I can imagine how they feel, especially if the bathroom Nazi came down with her cart full of tools and this floor is wet signs. Good thing it wasn’t me, because I wouldn’t be able to face the office public and would hide behind my office door with a sign dangling giving notice that I was Temporarily Out of Order!